ANGER as one of the basic human emotions, as elemental as happiness, sadness, anxiety, or disgust. Anger is related to the fight, flight, or freeze response of the nervous system; it prepares humans to fight. But fighting doesn’t necessarily mean throwing punches; it might motivate persons to combat injustice by changing laws or enforcing new behaviors. But does anger have a place in an ag legacy?

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TRUST compels us to act based on our perceptions of another, in other words an individual’s belief in, and willingness to act on the basis of the words, actions, and decisions of another. It is much easier to lose trust than it is to build it up. It is important for families, as well as individuals, to be proactive in their efforts to develop and nurture a sense of trust within the family. That foundation of trust also carries over into a family business. Understanding the factors that can affect trust in a relationship is a great place to begin to understand how to build, or rebuild, trust.
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Death is a natural part of life – for most of us, talking about it isn’t. Most people are uncomfortable talking, or even thinking, about what will happen when they or a loved one dies. Avoiding the topic doesn’t stop death from happening.
   Planning for pre-death issues and possibilities before the time actually comes will free both you and your loved ones to spend time doing the things that are really important during your last days. Other considerations and issues you may want to address, include: life-sustaining treatments, where to spend your last days, care of dependents – minor children, an elderly parent, or relatives, foster children or adults, or possibly a disabled friend or family member, and care of animals, either pets or livestock in your care.
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Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships between parents and adult children is challenging at any stage in life. This is especially true during times of change. It is important that the generations work together to make relationships satisfying rather than strained. Today, increasing life expectancies mean that family members will spend more time in intergenerational roles requiring negotiation and understanding in dealing with change.

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Where a break in the lines of communication has already occurred, forgiveness may be the only path forward. Luckily, granting forgiveness is something we can learn to do and we get better at it with practice.
   We will all leave a legacy whether we plan to or not. You might consider forgiveness if the legacy you leave behind is more important to you than making sure that you keep the conflict going to the bitter end. Remember, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself and your legacy.

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Farm and ranch families experience stress from a wide variety of factors, including: 1. operational stressors, 2. environmental influences, and 3. family stressors. Most factors are out of the families’ control, potentially adding even more stress. In addition, the lines are often blurred between family and business issues, making efforts to address them even more difficult.
   Stress factors can and often do affect everyone involved in the family farm or ranch business, even if they are not directly involved in day-to-day operations. A variety of coping mechanisms can be employed to help address or mitigate the effects of these factors.

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Fairness is a hard concept for people of any age to understand. This is because it requires one to be able to see things from another person’s point of view. Equal: The context of equality means all persons are treated the same; This could mean equal number of items, dollar value, or emotional value. Equitable: An equitable distribution would take into account differences; These differences could be age, gender, needs, care giving role, and other distinctive differences.
   Families members are generally more excited to consider leaving a legacy, where they are often uncomfortable discussing topics such as inheritance. Legacy takes into account all aspects of what an individual or family will leave behind.

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Where Are We with
Our Management Succession?

It seems logical to assume that, where the manager and management in general of any family business is critical to its success, the success of that family business into the future depends almost entirely on the ability of the family to transfer management responsibilities to the next generation. However, it is said that only 1/3 of all family businesses successfully transition to the next generation.

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What is the Most Important
Component in Creating your Ag Legacy?

There are many obstacles that prevent families from discussing and planning for transition of the family farm or ranch to the next generation. To name just a few: not knowing where to start, who wants to take over and how, or just a lack of time to sit down and talk. Emotional ties are often an intrinsic aspect of ownership, as well as the founding generation’s identity.

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Difficult Conversations:
How Do We Discuss What Really Matters?
Each difficult conversation is made up of three, distinct conversations: 1. the What Happened? Conversation; 2. the Feelings Conversation; and 3. the Identity Conversation. In the What Happened Conversation we make three common errors: the truth assumption, the intention invention, and the blame frame. Each error must be addressed in order to move forward. The Feelings Conversation: Feelings must be addressed to resolve the problem. Having a difficult conversation without talking about the feelings is like having an opera without music. The Identity Conversation is about what I am saying to myself about me. It may cause me to lose confidence, lose concentration, or even forget what I want to say. In extreme cases, it can paralyze me physically and emotionally.

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